'For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord….'

Archive for marriage

Things my Dad taught me…

I really enjoyed Amy Loizides post on ‘things her dad taught her’, so thought I’d do the same.  Difference between my scenario and hers is that it took me till about my mid-30’s to finally appreciate what my Dad taught me. Doh!  Also, her Dad (Lex – here’s his blog) is only about 3 years older than me……so that’s a bit weird!

Dad and I, circa 1970

Anyway, we (Amy & I) were chatting the other day and we agreed that there’s not enough parent-honouring going on these days.  My Dad has taught me a lot of things, so here are a few (not in any particular order)…….some profound, some practical, but all shaping and significant:

Dad, you taught me….

The value of money – it wasn’t thrown at me as a kid, and I had to earn some of it.  Dont get me wrong, Dad is incredibly generous with cash, but this helped me appreciate that hard work has its rewards.  There were caveats too.  ‘The more you have of it, the more problems you’ll have’  I seem to remember him saying.  Having a great attitude to cash (ie. it not being your God) is the way to go.  You can’t serve both God and money!  It’s true.

The importance of respect – if you learn this one early on, you will ‘earn favour with God AND man’.  True also.  As a youngster, just watching how Dad accepted folk for who they were spoke volumes.  Reminds me of someone else!

To hit a nail straight – there’s a knack to this!  When I was a kid, I proclaimed to my parents that I would be ‘getting a man in’ to do the DIY.  How wrong I was!  (although Dad, you have been that man a lot!).  I’ve hit a load of nails since then, and technique is king.  Hitting them squarely isn’t enough.  You have to strike with a slight push, and be ready to adjust mid-swing for a really true connection.  Geek!

Who Jesus is – quite important this one!  Modelling a life that follows the God-Man is what Dad has done.  Not perfectly, but very well.  The good-news-made-flesh is our model, and watching Dad live his life in response to the God-Man’s commitment to him is tremendously releasing and encouraging.

How to love my wife – the best form of security a child can wish for is to be raised in a secure context of married parents that visibly love each other.  Hard work?  You bet.  But seeing how my Dad has led our family, loving mum and meeting her needs, has been unquestionably shaping for me.  Great job!

How to make wise choices – made a good number of dumb one’s over the years.  Even after hearing priceless advice, it’s no guarantee against making poor choices.  Always look at a scenario from different angles, work through the implications, make a decision.

To listen twice as much as I speak – God gave me two ears and one mouth, so he must have meant something by that!  I’m still learning this one, but appreciating the value of healthy communication on all sorts of levels.

To just whistle when annoyed – Dad always whistles when he’s a bit frustrated!  I found myself doing this recently too………chip off the old block!

Dad, thanks for all those things.  I’m beginning to appreciate you and them at last!


15 years…

Ali and I celebrate (yes, that’s right…celebrate!) 15 years of marriage today.  Easy ride?  Nope.  Hard work?  Yep.  Worth it?  Absolutely!  Why?  Because stuff God designs and ordains is always worth it.

Even in circumstances that result from sin and a fallen world (and our own daft choices), God’s framework for life is awesome and fulfilling.  Check out Isaiah 1:1-20  to get a feel for God’s invitation to you.  It’s not a threat, it’s a promise!

On a day like today I remind myself of the profound mystery of marriage (sometimes very mysterious!) and how Jesus laid his life down for the church as an example to us.  What a model!  Oh dear!  Messed that up a few times…  Thank you Jesus for showing me ‘how’ with your perfect performance, for being patient and forgiving in my mistakes, and for giving me a great wife! 

And this one is for you married (and aspiring) chaps…….things Ali and I attempt to do (at least try to..) in order to keep the fire stoked, courtesy of Word for Today (50 tips for marriage)